Just thoughts!

Well tonight is the last night that Shawna and the boys are living here. Its kinda bitter sweet. I will miss there company. I am glad that she is getting her own place. I hope the very best for her of cource. With or without David. God knows her needs and I always pray for her and her family. I have v=cerntainly felt like 2nd mama to the boys. I hope that they will always have a special bond with there Nanadee. I am sure I will still see them alot. Especially to babysit. I would like to be able to get with her and the boys. We'll see how things go. I am sure its gonna depend on whether or not David is around. Its sad that it is that way. But I am not fooling myself. I know what the deal is. I know that they need there time, but I also know how important it is to do things apart from each other too. You get suficated when you are together all the time.

:( Tom my boss lost his 28 year old son the first week of April. Drug overdose. It has been very sad. He left his son that is only 9yrs old. Tom has been battling trying to get custody of his Grandson ever since his son Tye died. The mother is a drug addict and Tom have proved that but the system is more for children to be with there mother no matter what. It would be ok if the mother would get her stuff together. I am sure she has put really ugly thoughts in Cole's mind. Anyway, Tom came in today and basicly told us all that he is throwing in the towel. Him and his wifew Jana have had it. They are tired of the fight and really have not given themselves time to grieve for Tye. It is really sad. I pray for all involve to find peace and closure. I hope that Stacey will realize that it is important to Cole to see them and have his Grandparents in his life. I know that God sees all things and I pray for Gods grace in there lifes. It has been a very hard thing to be a part of and see all the hurt. You really do not even know what to say. So I pray!

Matt went fishing with some old buddies of his today. I hope that he had a good time. He does not have many friends and needs the out. It seems all he does most of the time is work work work. I hope that we can get closer now. It is hard to have time for our marriage with the kiddos here. Even tho we love them dearly we have to get time for ourselves. I hope that we can spark upthe fire in our relationship. I do love him very much.

Saturday

I really felt good to be home today. I got out of bed around 9:30 drank my coffee and looked at my emails. My throat has been feeling a little raw and today I have been sinusy. Feeling a little blah! I did my laundry and did a little bit of cleaning in the kitchen. Then I laid down for about 45mins. Got up took a shower and got dressed. Shawna, Me, Jaden & Peyton went to get a bite to eat at Taco Cabana. Then we went to Mama & Daddy's so Shawna could clean her couch. She is getting all her stuff ready to move into her Apt. She got rid of pretty much everything when David left her 6 months ago. I think she just wanted to just restart with fresh everything. I hope it makes things better for her. Really it is a heart thing. I believe that you have to find contentment no matter the circumstance. Not that that is easy. Believe me I have lived through my own roller coaster ride. If you think about it our whole lives are about change and growing. Rolling with the punches. Anyway I really do want her to find herself and find happiness. I love both my girls so very much. They have been such a big part of my life. I am blessed to have them in my life. I hope that I have not done so many things wrong that they will not love me when and if I get old.
My mother is feeling left out. She thinks they are left out of plans. She told me today that she felt hurt not being invited to Todd's birthday. Well what am I suppose to say to her. All I can do is be what I am. Which I have always tried to make sure that I call and go by and see them. Of course I do get busy with crap but I always make the effort. But never recognized for it if that makes sence. Anyway I really don't know the mind of someone else anyway. I also told her that I don't see Christi that much either. I stay in touch with her with Imming at work and at home.

TGIF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Man what a freakin week. I swear everything was coming at me at work. This job is so draining. I have been working in insurance since Nov 1989. A long freakin time. My girls say to me all the time 'INSURANCE!!!!". LOL!
I really do not mind what I do except being in customer service is very hard. I am good with people and most like me. But you do have to pretty much kiss ass. But I do like that I help people out. But it is very stressfull. I do personal lines and commercial. I think that is really challenging right now. It can be just too much. My brained is fried right now.

I am hoping for a relaxing weekend. Shawna is wanting to go out a little so I think we are going to JC Penney's and get a bite for dinner.
She will be moving this next weekend. So it will be busy then. I will either watch the kiddos or help with her move. One way or the other it will be busy for us all. Makes me tired thinking about it. LOL

New to Blogging

I am new to blogging. My daughter Christi blogs all the time. I thought I would try it out. There are many times that I have ideas and thoughts that need to just be said. So I will talk to you my blog.
Maybe along this journey I will pick up some on-line friends. Who really knows where the day will take you or the decisions you make effect you.
My youngest daughter Shawna and her 2 boys have been staying with Matt & I for 6 months. Her and her husband David have been seperated. Its been really hard. But I do see Shawna growing and maturing. She & the boys are moving into there own apartment at the end of this month. I hope that this will be a positive thing for Shawna. She needs to know that she can do it by herself. I know she can do it. Lord knows that I did.
Christi is building a card company while staying home with her 2 boys.
I work full time and feel like I have no time for myself.